HOPE

Its Life.

I always have wanted to experience each color of it.
Smile in pain , appreciate other's disdain.

But today it feels like m all empty.
There's this BIG void that might never get filled up again.
Its like a part of me is missing. Being always the bright and shy one altogether it always kept me away and when finally i did have that moment after mustering enough of strength..it just faded away into nothingness....
and with that went this part of me that will never be the usual one again.

I dont know what it was or it is. I am unsure of what it might do to me. Neither am i aware of  what i feel.
I dont wan to feel anything. Or think anything. Want this time to pass......

This time will pass. But i will still feel the way i do.

Its like euphoria and pain altogether. It's bliss.

*smiles*

But i know it is something worth suffering for. Worth bearing. Worth wanting and worth living for.
I know this.

"After dusk comes the dawn,
Said the one dressed in fawn..."

Thank you god for making me suffer. For making me feel alive. For giving me something worth crying for. For making me smile and weep together. Thank you..

What also you have shown me is that despite of all this there's always hope.

*ecstatic*

HURT.

I knew you were trouble.

Thats what i can think of now. I never was oblivion of this but i never in my wildest dream had wondered you could hurt me...

That too , to this extent.

"soul so beautiful, heart so pious..
Perhaps a dream much desired..."


This often happens to us. Each one of us. We TRUST people and then they just do not understand the value of it. They lie. Each time. But you imprudently want to believe in all of them. They talk about you behind your back(definitely, not in a good way) and you still yearn to talk to them.

Later, it dawned on me that the things i have always discerned to were all actually true. Each one of them. All my fears actually came out to be true. :)

People will always be like that. You certainly WILL get HURT . You won't find people to smother you with affection. You will be left along by your near ones. But it is you who gotta choose to the creatures for whom it is worth suffering for.

Say thank you to god for letting you suffer. Because these are the moments that make you  understand the shitt called happiness. :)

Always adhere to your self.

*teary blessing*